April Newsletter

Happy Full Moon in Scorpio amigos,

This is a time of deep healing & psychic amplification. It’s an important week to create comfy spaces for yourself to reflect inwardly & allow yourself to go into your depth. Within each individual exists an underworld. The Full Moon in Scorpio will shine a light into your shadowy caverns & reveal what has been stirring. Perhaps some creep-crawlies &/or valuable gems thriving in the dark. I extend myself to those seeking extra support during this transformative week & provide you with an update of the life-changing process I’ve been undergoing the last 6 months. 

I’ve recently discovered that I’ve been in a decades-long metamorphosis when it comes to transformation in the areas of my creative expression, delight & romance in my life. I knew I was blocked in these area’s before, I was aware of it. But I didn’t feel like I had access or the inner resources to clear the stuck energy. It was just there. Un-moving, unchanging, & seemingly out of reach. 

Now, after a series of what I’d call master initiations, I cannot be slowed down. It’s taken me a long time to get here, where I’m including my needs & unapologetic in my desires for peace, pleasure & intimacy. I’ve been stuck & stagnant in these sectors of my life since I can remember, so do not have the space or time to remain still any longer. 

I must honor the driving energy I feel inside of me to go forward in the pursuit of love, passion, self-expression & creativity; & have made a dramatic shift in no longer allowing anyone or anything to stand in my way – including myself.

I have noticed a major release of people-pleasing take place in the last month – thank you North Node in Aries & South Node in Libra –  as well as getting out of my own way. The experience has literally felt like turning a light switch on & off. A very simple & seamless action. I feel more free, honoring & respectful of mySelf than ever before. Allowing for the dissolve of my & other people’s judgements & opinions of me has dropped a dramatic weight off my shoulders. I have sensed this energy for a long time, but was unaware of exactly where it was coming from. Most likely lifetimes & generations of co-dependency & trauma-response.

Now, no longer holding the energy of what’s not mine, I feel a renewed & vast serene, spaciousness for my next evolution of becoming. I feel ecstatic, excited energy propelling me forward into what’s next that Source has in store for me. Open & curious to opportunities coming from new & different sectors I wasn’t aware of or interested in prior. I notice an up-leveling of autonomy & choice in the design & creation of my life. As well as pure awe & wonder of the fruits of my Spiritual labor over the past 15 years I’ve been on the awakening path. Doing the inner, intentional, self: connection-healing-learning & loving work, truly pays off. And it takes time.

After all these years of compassionate practice & devotion to Truth, I have a defined system of self-care that enlightens my frequency to the point where now I can see & implement how to manifest what I truly desire & serves my highest & best; & have embodied the courage, clarity, values & ethics to do so. 

Now, in clear knowing of the process in how to co-create with the Universe after a multitude of attempts from my own personal needs for understanding, health & healing, I am of the capacity to take right-action that aligns with my soul-purpose to model & share the Frequency & Freedom that Love is. With this world. At this time.

Feeling so keenly aligned to the reasoning of my being-here has given me meaning-making that supports & expands my life, instead of contorts & contracts it, as the current over-arching model of fear & power-over systems deludes. It’s so easy to get lost, confused & resigned. To awaken the heart requires many attempts of surrender & pursuit. The patience for mistakes & error. The trust to not-know & try again.

Devoting myself to Love’s path as a student & now also, as a teacher & spiritual counselor, has provided me the true nourishment that all human’s require to feel alive, happy & free. I feel such gratitude to be resourced with the service & devotional energy to share this “return to home” process with others.

I thank you, from the depths of my heart & being. For being here, & walking along with me. I thank you for your own personal trust & surrender process to awaken yourself & the world around you to Mas Amor – More Love. It is no small measure to open-heartedly contribute to life. 

If you’re ready & yearning for support in the awakening & evolution of your Heart & Spirit, I am here, honored & pleasured to support you on your path.

A good place to start or continue working with me is in my Spiritual Counseling service. Preferably, 75mins or 90mins to provide us the spaciousness to cover all of your needs for healing & expansion. To schedule click the links above.

In Service of Love & Spirit,

Lola

November Newsletter

Dear Beloveds, 

The truth is what is dear & meaningful to me may not be to others

I see that I will assume everyone else is coming from my core values that I not only speak & preach, but walk & continuously seek

That my roots raised in the country grew me up straight like a cornstalk
seeds my father planted over & over again
monotonous repetition of tending, patience, & timing

Rooted in stability
earnesty
humbleness & humility

Praying for rain when too much sun
and then sun when too much rain

Gratitude no matter what
and God serving in all conditions
having faith in the road given

Compassion, love & forgiveness for all
was the harmony humming in the background of my home
creating & sustaining the pace
how to walk with grace

Building my bones into moral goodness
how to offer care & give space

As a little girl sitting in the pew on Sundays
remembering the scripture of Jesus being read on repeat
of original guilt & sin
“they know not what they do” 
and it is often true

So forgive & forget I go
because as I am told
to not bare a grudge or behold

But as I grew I noticed there were many things not being said
a sweeping under the rug became normalized
a habitual response
and the aliveness grew dead

A gap started to form between what I was taught & feeling
I didn’t want to lose my virtue of forgiveness
but no one was talking or teaching
or at least I wasn’t receiving
the steps to get to such a healing

So after each atrocity & attack endured
the burden grew bigger & expanded
the lines became a blur

The weight of not being granted the
tools
time
knowing
or space for me, to process me

Give it to God they said
and so I did
a divine gift & relationship I would never want to perish or regret

But what about all these feelings & words left unsaid?
what about my heart & how it burns with pain so deep I can’t comprehend it in my head?

Swallowing & repression
repression & swallowing
push it down
push it down
push it down was the literature I read

We don’t understand your feelings & your emotions are inappropriate
so quiet I became
and loss was to blame

Clench your teeth
bite your tongue
pull back
pull back
pull back
show no weakness

This space is not safe for your brokenheartedness & hurt feelings
toughen up
“be strong like the cornstalk” would ring in my ears

But the body doesn’t lie & became heavy with despair & tears
hope had left the eyes
and the chest swelled with fear

Sickness & dis-ease grew with a complete resignation to
“this is just how things are, how life is’
no inquiry or curiosity into its source or origination
giving up all power to the doctors, their authority & creation

It’s cancer
we must cut this out
they said

It’s your heart
we must put in this device
they said

You have relapsed
your cancer has returned
again & again & again
they said
we must cut this thing out & radiate you with poison to get rid of the poison 

Ok, they said
you know better than me
you know me, better than me
as they were taught to believe

Desperate for relief & instilled with the belief that God lives externally
so I bow my head & take the punishment instead
I must surrender, trust & believe
have faith & keep going
take my steps everyday no matter the cost
no matter that my body is dying & bleeding
you must
you must keep going

And it’s true that as humans we need to build resiliency
because sometimes people are not nice & the world can be cruel & evil

But one’s own discernment is a necessary skill worth developing

To know when to say enough is enough
this is what I’m feeling
this is what I’m needing
above all potential loss of anything & anyone else
that my heart matters too
and that it’s not all love & light

Yes that is my prayer
my core value & orientation
and we can get into all kinds of philosophical conversations about the distinctions of my current observation 

But exercising my throat & activating my voice 
are necessary & needed
it’s time to step into the courageous part of me that’s been deep inside
often hidden
but waiting for its moment all along to say

This is me
it may not be pretty or what you want to hear
but this is what I need
above all else & your tears
even as my empathetic heart wimpers & wears
this is what’s missing & I need to receive

Standing firmly as the cornstalk
as my father taught me
by model  
but not so much words or creativity

However this is the lineage of family my soul agreed too
there’s no getting out now
and it must be accurate
because I know God always puts me where I am meant to be

So I must carry out the vulnerable & scary duty of speaking to what’s there for me
after all, it was planted in the seeds
I can feel it
a perpetual unstoppable weed 

To not just model the values instilled
but to speak them
give them air
volume
veracity & velocity
if necessary

This is my evolution
grant myself the right to breathe
share & sing my melody
so the words don’t die in me, like I’ve seen

To carry on with potential & possibility
and contribute my core values of love & service, to humanity

Thank you for being here, reading & receiving my prayer.

Powered by Grace,
LL

October Newsletter

Dear Beloveds, 

I know you don’t know where you’re going right now, & the direction awaits you. 

But soon your soul will find a new rhythm, & the living you called normal will become a faint memory dissolving into the ocean of your past, forgotten & left out at sea to co-create with the life all around you. Patiently waiting to transform & become the dreams you’ve been dreaming.

When we find those things that had only existed as potential possibilities take shape into 3-dimensional form, we at once realize ourselves as more powerful than we previously thought & strengthen our connection to the unknowns path. 

For the not known path is indeed the route we all must travel to know ourselves & discover our True North. 

As scary & horrifying this road can be, not traveling it produces a sense of slow suffocation that deadens the soul over time. Where the light goes dim, eventually resolving into a complete blackness. Where our day-to-day experience can feel like an ongoing darkest, of night. 

A hallow grave of no-thingness. Nothing happeing-ness…just surviving-ness. A life-less automation delivered via disassociation and divergence from the pain of knowing what’s authentic and real.

The Being shifts from organica in nature to robotic. Empty & mechanical. Without empathy in its movements. Without ownership or clarity of mind. Purely driven by external & conditional, survival forces that rob the soul of integrity as fear takes over, hanging on for dear life.

Layered beneath this trauma response is a broken heart that regrets not living while still alive, and those directionless paths you were once scared to walk upon no longer feel close or like accessible options. They exist in a fantasy of some distant future. Options only reserved for others. A time long gone and too far away now to touch or be true.

And perhaps, in some moment. By the Grace of God. The power of prayer. A life-threatening illness. An insight from a stranger or the Sun, a light glimmers into your awareness that ignites your craving for creativity & you seek out knowing that there is no way around the mystery.

That the mysterious paths are the ones that shed the Light & Life required to awaken your soul to courageously once more, challenge yourself to the truth, and approach the path that only you may seek. 

That only you can discover, learn & know, your path of mystery by consistently & courageously showing up for it. Walking day by day, moment by moment, into the directionless path the Universe begs you to permit so that you may receive and celebrate the absolute beauty and stunning elegance awaiting you, in the Unknown. Unique and reserved, just for You.

As we enter Scorpio season, the zodiac of death & darkness. Celebrate All Hallow’s eve today, a pagan religious celebration to welcome the harvest at the end of summer. And are in the midst of revering the Day of the Dead, a Mexican religious holiday where it is said the gates of heaven are opened and All Souls whom have passed may come through to be honored and remembered. We are in potent times to respect and hold high regard for the life that has passed, and the Unknown that is coming. From all darkness, births new light.

May we give gratitude and grace to ourselves and each other. As we walk together, into what only the darkness, may reveal. 

Mucho mucho gratitud mi amors. RIP to the dead and the living.

Powered by Grace,
LL

September Newsletter

Dear Beloveds,

Happy September! I am just about to come upon my new solar year, and I’m feeling there is so much I could say about what I’ve been experiencing, learning, realizing, embodying and what I’d like to appreciate and celebrate. So let’s get into it!

First, what I’ve been experiencing: As we grow in our awareness there is little we can hide from anymore and 2023 has been a heavy year of shadow work for me. There has been a lot of inner conflict as I have fought to see/not see parts of myself that I have feared. Spirit has been directing me into feeling layers of repressed guilt and shame, and it’s required a lot of heavy lifting to bear. I’ve had to face the judgments I’ve had of myself and allow them to be true so I could stand in the fire and let them burn. I am what I fear until I no longer fear it. So surrender and allowing the dark underbelly of my soul to come up has been required, and over time as I focus on compassionately loving these parts, they have shifted into things I no longer resist, rather, accept.

Second, what I’ve been learning: Hello Boundaries!! Throughout this year my health started to wain again and I could not figure out what the source of the issue was. I was throwing everything but dog food at my symptoms and nothing was shifting how off I felt. When Venus went retrograde July 22nd, I felt everything out of alignment in my relationships come to the surface and hit me in the face. Throughout August I was undergoing the realization that I could no longer run from what’s out of balance, needed to take a deep look at my own patterns of self-betrayal, and had to courageously turn toward and stand in all the ways I HAD BEEN co-creating and contributing to the chaos I’ve felt due to not setting, holding and honoring boundaries. Not only with others, but with myself.

I sat in a training a few weekend’s ago where the leader displayed extremely clear, strong boundaries and direction. I was in awe of how grounded and present he was, and how he carried himself with such strength and spoke with clarity of mind and voice. He directed others supporting the group and us participants with clear direction and precision. I witnessed some in the group not take this very well at first. You could tell his structure and directness rubbed some of them wrong at first. Like, they didn’t know how to take someone speaking to them without fluff, beating around the bush, or coddling. I saw a few in the support group react to him with looks of, “who does this guy think he is?” at first, and, “man, that felt kind of rude or harsh” and others just plain puzzled because they’d never experienced someone be so direct in telling them the rules and their roles. 

But as time went on, the groups discomfort and judgment of the leader became understanding of how this session worked and people fell into the comfort and clarity of knowing their roles and where the lines were. Eventually the leader and the support staff developed a repore and began having fun with each in the space. I was amazed at what I was seeing. The leader was displaying the Divine Masculine core principles of how to create, structure and organize a space. He was consistent and predictable throughout the entire thing, I always knew where he stood. He was present and reliable to the groups needs and persistent in reminding us to focus and pay attention. I finally started to realize what was happening. His clear, embodied boundaries were teaching my masculine energy of how to behave.

Contrast is truly a wonderful thing because it shows us where we need to grow. Through watching this man, I was able to see what healthy masculine energy was, how it looked, how it behaves, and the actions necessary I needed to take to clean up mine. His display of clear, firm boundaries not only gave me permission to create the same for myself, but that it is absolutely imperative that I instill boundaries because the lack of them is the very thing that’s been making me sick. 

Whew. I saw from this experience that the core principle that has been creating my life to be so chaotic and out of whack has been a deeply engrained pattern of not setting and honoring boundaries. Up until this session, I was still circulating in the space of feeling like boundaries were rude, that they didn’t contain love and were harsh, but after this, I see clearly. Boundaries create the container to hold relationships with self and others in health and harmony and are absolutely necessary for relationships to deepen and love to grow. 

Boundaries teach us how to treat ourselves and others how to treat us. Without boundaries, respect diminishes and relationships don’t have the necessary structure to hold them together and the people become unwell. I have been searching and searching for what the root cause of my health issues has been for years and after it getting worse in the last 4 months, I finally got my answer. I haven’t been consistent in holding boundaries that take care of me. Boundaries are a form of self-care and it’s necessary to instill them for survival and if you care to thrive in this life. No more giving everything away. Boundaries leave energy for Self. 

Third, what I’ve been realizing: The thing I’ve been fearing is just me. It’s just me! When I rub up against a part of myself my culture and conditioning has told me is wrong, that I’ve labeled as shameful, it just blocks me from experiencing me. That the fear coming up is actually arising as a GIFT for me to know myself deeper, and that I have a choice in how I relate to what arises. When I feel scared of what’s coming up, I get locked in a web of pain, illusion and resistance, and get super confused and lost. The more fear I direct toward the thing, the farther away I must get from it to protect myself. In undergoing all this deep shadow work, I realized I have a Choice in what I make the fears mean and if I shift to offering compassion to them, I regain my Agency and integrate them much more quickly. They are no longer fears only living in my head, I breathe them down into my body, wrap them up in my heart, and ask Spirit for assistance. If I remain in my mind, I get stuck and go round and round with them in an endless loop of struggle. 

Fourth, what I’ve been embodying: Due to the choppy terrain of this year’s shadow work I’ve had to practice a lot of trusting the unknown, letting go, and flowing with the adversity instead of against it. I could no longer use my hyper-masculine skills of strong-arming my way out of the pain, I had to surrender to the feminine and allow. As a result I’ve embodied a lot more flow into my nervous system and my auto responses have shifted from force to flow. Instead of seeing something I don’t like and pushing against it, I’ve had to turn toward and flow with to reduce the discomfort.

Fifth, what I appreciate: There is so much I’d like to acknowledge appreciation for in my life. First, the support and love of my partner, friends, family and community. Without you I would not be able to grow this big. Second, I’d like to appreciate my body for chugging along and doing its very best to keep up with my ascension symptoms and heal. Third, I’d like to appreciate my ability to be courageous and my continuous pursuit in traveling into the unknown. Fourth, I’d like to send my appreciation out to Spirit. Thank you for always having my back, guiding the way, and making life so much more wonderful in connection to you!

Sixth & last, what I’d like to celebrate: I’d like to celebrate just how beautiful life can be if we choose that! There is utter magic all around us if we just change our internal camera lens. I celebrate that expansion is happening and humans are in the process of realizing their authentic selves! 

Thank you all for being here with me on planet Earth at this time. Your witnessing of me adds to my creation, and my witnessing of you helps me learn and grow. Cheers to the highest and best for this next solar return!
 
In Spiritual Service,
LL

July Newsletter

Hello Beloveds,
 

What may be perceived as a loss of love is really redirection toward alignment to our most Truest Self.

This truest Self is not static. It’s always moving and changing, organic in nature. The very foundation of relationship is a constant coming together and moving apart, and this movement within the structure is required for relationships to not only survive, but thrive.

As we release the perception that relationship is bondage; an old, ancient, obligational contract that we made from much younger parts of our-Selves. We open the energetic space to allow for people to come and go, with fluidity and ease, returning to the qualia of Bonding in its original form. Bonding that nourishes, instead of bondage that constricts. 

Breaking from karmic relational contracts and unconscious social agreements we’ve made, frees us to release the perceived safety of codependency, and allows for a relationship upgrade that supports our highest alignment. The upgrade turns us toward our-Selves instead of pulls us away. It truly serves our becoming, rather than circumventing our actualization.

Once the upgrade is received and integrated, we release the need to hang on and see that everything that is for us, is always with us, and can never go anywhere. We then find ourselves living in a new vibrational dimension, where relationships easily sync up with our nervous system, provide safety for our natural expression, and allow spaciousness to integrate the human experience.

In this “new” field of relating, we will find the rules aren’t the same. We aren’t obliged to respond by leaving ourselves to care for another. In fact, we are encouraged to do what actually feels best for us, and not reach out just as a means to keep the connection. The guiding energy in this space is to relate from abundance, rather than grab from scarcity. It’s a subtle difference. Check-in.

The people we meet in this field will call us gently at times, and boldly at others, to the full expression of our Divine nature, and somehow know when to do which. This calling is unique in its essence, being it’s purely from the heart, and not from fear. What was ownership and oppression, is now agency and sovereignty.

These relationships will walk the path of evolutionary love with us. Bravely breaking down the barriers we’ve made to our own love, and expanding our hearts past our previously known capacity. They truly trust the Spiral of Life, Surrender to the Spiritual path, and can maintain the Test of Time. 

Aho to all my like-hearted friends in the field of authentic inner-navigation. Your pursuit is courageous, you will be rewarded and met, with the beauty and unity, of bigger and bigger, Love.

In Spiritual Service,
LL

June Newsletter

Hello Beloveds,

Happy Father’s Day to you and yours! 

As I think about what this Day stands for, I feel immense gratitude for my biological Father, Father God & Sky, Grandfathers, along with all the Father-Uncles, Father-Cousins, Surrogate Fathers, Father-Partners, Father-Teachers, Father-Friends of all genders, and my own Divine-Masculine Father growing within me. I’m deeply humbled and grateful for my connect to my Father now who lives in Spirit and is my primary Guide. Without his transition to the other side, I’m not sure I’d be here writing you today in this way.

So often in the spiritual community, the conversation revolves around the Father wound and toxic masculinity we’re all exposed too and have within us due to the authoritarian, power-over, capitalistic society we live in here in the West. 

While this is true and a very complex and not so black-and-white topic to label, I’d like to take the opportunity today to share about and Celebrate all the ways the Father holds us, provides and protects us, and Gives to us. 

I was fortunate to have a Father and Father-like extended family around me who displayed many healthy masculine-father qualities growing up and still to this day, like:

• Steadiness & Stability
• Grounded-ness
• Patience
• Protectiveness
• Providers
• Strong Work Ethic & Character
• Reliable & Responsible
• Trustworthy

As I reflect on these Father-like figures in my life, I feel called to extend love and healing to them by naming the ways I see that they were hurting and therefore, thwarted in giving me what I needed:

• Told to “toughen up” that boys don’t cry and not be a sissy
• A general non-allowance for Father’s to have Feelings, aka, emotional repression
• Invalidation of the Father’s Needs
• A lack of support for Father’s, silo-ing them to where they can only rely on themselves
• Strong & heavy pressure to keep going at all costs
• To place making money the priority above all

I feel an immense sense of compassion and empathy for all the Father’s who are asked to step up in all the ways they are without the support to do so. I see how this divide has wounded my ability to Father myself, and I am also hearing from Spirit that much of this can be cleaned up quickly by intentionally connecting with Father-God-Creator-Energy and allowing that pure Source to love our Fathers and Father-wounds back into Wholeness. 

Remember that Energy Follows Intention. Doing a simple awareness practice of sending empathy and acceptance back in the generational line will create healing in the ancestral line forward that you no longer need to carry.

Thank you Father God, for Fathers.

If you need support in healing your Father-wound, connecting to Source energy, or would like someone to hold space for your unfolding and help you process your own repressed emotions, you may book a 1:1 here. And check out my workshops by clicking here.

Aho to the most high working through me. May this be a vessel for thy healing.

LL

May Newsletter

Hello Beloveds,

I’ve recently experienced the power of stopping the search. 

When we are seeking for answers and expect something, say an apology or an answer, we slow down and even block the blessings from reaching us because we’re not trusting the process and allowing it to unfold naturally. The Universe contains it’s own natural, completion process, and if we’re patient, and exercise restraining our egos from acting out, we lower the resistance in our field to allow the healing to reach us. 

For example. You know when something challenging happens in your life, and it really messes you up? You wonder, why me? Why did that happen? What did I do to create that? Did I do something wrong? How can I heal from this? You have some demand energy going on. They should apologize. They should tell me they were wrong. This could go on for minutes, hours, days, weeks, months or even years. And if we keep searching for the reasoning, expect the other party to do something for us, we block the blessing.

Why is this? Because what we resist, persists. And the Universe is just mirroring back your current state. When we are resisting, we’re in a state of pushing, pulling, trying, and forcing things to go our way, and this is typically from fear. When we are acting, thinking and speaking from fear, we are out of alignment, and therefore will only receive more “out of alignment” experiences. 

However, when we stop the searching for blame, surrender it all to Source, and admit we don’t know, but we’re willing to see our own accountability, and keep returning to our hearts, the energetic space around you is open and clear for the wisdom, power, and love of the Divine to swoop in and complete the pain cycle. But we must be willing to let go of our need to be right. Our justified belief that the other person was wrong. We must do our inner work to process the part of us in pain that wants to punish the other person for hurting us, misunderstanding us, and trust that Source is always taking care of us and everything. 

I’ve had this happen recently to me in a very large way. Something that happened in my life a few years ago just came full circle last week, and I didn’t get any validation until then. I didn’t receive an apology until long after I ever let go of wanting one. In fact, I had completely surrendered to the idea of ever receiving any redemption at all. And then sure enough, long after I’d completely let the situation go, given it to God, forgave and released everyone, did the blessings come. 

When we are seeking for answers, solutions, and to “know” the cause of something, we limit our options because our ego’s have very boxed in perspectives based in right and wrong, good and bad. The Spirit realm is infinite and not based in duality. It’s loving and neutral. It has infinite possibilities for resolution and healing, but when we are pushing for answers, feel justified and act out of self-righteousness, we aren’t trusting that Spirit has the situation handled and block the space for healing.

We live in a self-correcting Universe. We needn’t play victim, keep ourselves condemned as persecutors, or use our energy to punish those who have hurt us. When we grow our patience, continuously practice surrender, stay centered in our hearts and trust in the Spiritual process, one day, at some “random” point in time, we will be vindicated for the pain imposed upon us and redemption will validate what we knew all along. The Truth always reveals itself. And it always, returns to Love.

If you’d like support in trusting the Divine orchestration of your life, want time connecting with your guides, or would like someone to hold space for your unfolding, you may book a 1:1 here. And check out my workshops coming up in the classes & workshops tab above.

Aho to the most high working within me and through me. May this be a vessel for thy healing.

LL

April Newsletter

Hello Beloveds,

What my good friend Grant always says is, “life takes care of life.” I love it when he reminds me of this because it’s so true and strikes me as such a relief every time I hear it. When I slow down and look, I see that I am always being taken care of. 

The past 2 weeks I’ve felt like I got hit by a truck. I’ve been sleeping a ton and still unable to get out of bed most mornings, drowning in a sea of fatigue, brain fog and exhaustion. The other day I started to get worried about it. “Oh no” the old voices go, “I’ve done it again. I’ve burnt myself out. I went too far.” All of the same questions and doubts arising….”is it my thyroid? the barometric pressure? am I getting my moon? what is wrong or what am I doing wrong to create this?” 

Then, I had a healing circle scheduled on the books for this weekend and when I woke up on Friday and Saturday, I had no idea how I was going to pull it off. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t get the fatigue and brain fog to clear. As I laid down to nap yesterday afternoon before everyone arrived, I let myself completely surrender to it and prayed. Spirit, please show me how this fatigue is in service. Please make me of the greatest service, even in this fatigue. I know anything is possible through you, and that your plan is far greater than my own. Thank you.”

As the women gathered and the night went on, I saw that my very yin state had a place. I was in such a deeply soft, sweet, nurturing, allowing, receptive, flowy and loving state, it was exactly what I needed and I saw how it served the participants well. They didn’t need anything more from me, or anything else.They didn’t need me to show up any particular way, or pull tricks out of a bag. I didn’t have to perform. I saw that I could be exactly as I was, in the state I was in, and still have it contribute to the Whole. It was massive to see that my fatigue and brain fog didn’t have to be kept separate, as I’ve done for so long from so much shame. Shame that I struggle with managing my energy levels from time to time and that it’s a challenge me to not over do it. In this experience I felt that I could include all of me and that in itself actually provides the greatest service of all.

It was powerful for me to let go of what I typically have thought I needed to be and look like in order to show up, hold space, and facilitate, and trust that where I was would be the perfect contribution, and it was.

Life takes care of Life. What does that mean? It means there is an inherent, intelligent force within this Universe that we do not control that is always orchestrating everything to the smallest and highest degree to take care of us. When we live in the flow of this energy and remain connected to this knowing, we haven’t any need for worry or fear, there is a resounding trust in Life as it is at all times. And peace prevails. 

Happy Spring planting little birdies and bunny rabbits.
May whatever you are birthing be fertile and abundant. 

If you’d like support in trusting the Divine orchestration of your life, want time connecting with your guides, or would like someone to hold space for your unfolding, you may book a 1:1 here. And check out my workshops coming up below.

Aho to the most high working within me and through me. May this be a vessel for thy healing.

LL

March Newsletter

Hello Beloveds,

I have been back in KC for 4 weeks now and I’m finally feeling like I’m settling into life back here stateside, after living in Mexico on or by the ocean for 5 weeks. There has been much to process and integrate. There was a lot of excitement, new experiences, and teachings to take in while leading two Spiritual Healing Retreats abroad, and from what I am seeing and experiencing happening on a collective scale.

The planet is changing and people are waking up. Humans are becoming more inquisitive of their Spiritual nature and considerate of their energy. It’s no longer being labeled a “woo-woo” only thing by the masses. I’m seeing anti-woo-woo people suck back their previously judgmental words and swallow them. Their view is widening. Truth is being sought and known.

What I witnessed in my retreat participants is that they were open, ready, and willing to live a more Spiritually-aligned life. Opposed to the way of life they’d internalized, typically based off fear. I would watch them receive intuitive direction or downloads from their Higher Selves, nature, or each other, and take action on it immediately. Doing any work necessary to clear the old programs and release blockages. They practiced full trust and deep surrender throughout the entire retreat. It was extremely powerful to watch and is what I feel called to share with you most in my March Newsletter today: The power of calling on Spirit as the GPS to navigate your life. 

How do I do this? When I look at a person who comes to work with me in a session, I open my sight and awareness to not just see their physical-selves, but to take in and be aware of all the things in the non-physical form as well to get a fuller picture. This can feel like widening the landscape from which I’m my looking, softening my eyes, and feeling into the energy coming through from a source beyond me – beyond my ego’s needs or agenda. I call on Spirit to make me a vessel of thy work and through the power of intention, I state the person/place/thing I’d like to receive guidance on. I begin making myself a container to allow Spirit to work through me, and open my sensing pathways to let the information flow. I then do my best to step my ego back (the part of me that wants to judge, figure something out, or fix something, and comes from a place of survival) and trust what’s coming through. 

I get so excited when I see others in the world starting to live more from these God-given intuitive senses we all have. The power of Spirit is literally just a prayer away, and what I so enjoyed learning and experiencing in Mexico for those 5 weeks is that when a prayer is asked, it is typically answered within 5 minutes. I SAID 5 MINUTES YAWL!!!! Take this story for example:

I’m at the beautiful Tulum beach one day – and this is by far, the most beautiful beach I’ve ever been too, hence my repeat visits – and I’m swimming in the ocean, basking on a beach bag chair, drinking fresh pineapple juice, reading my book, just absolutely lost in dream-flow land. And I suddenly realize the time, I need to go. I have a Zoom call I need to take back at my villa at 5pm. I start to scurry and grab my things and start fast-walking to where I’d parked my bike, which was a 20 minute walk away. I started to panic a little bit and that old narrative started up in my head. “Gosh dangit Lisa, you did it again. You’re going to be late! What is this thing you have with being on time? Why is it so hard for you??” Then I remember, wait a minute. There is no need to worry or be anxious. I have so much help and support all around me. I’ll just call on Spirit to bring me someone who is safe to give me a ride this short distance to my bike and then I know I’ll be able to make the call on time. 

I proceeded to send out a prayer asking for such, and my Spirit guides said okay, just stay present and aware. The ride is coming. I continued to walk and wait a few minutes and asked my guides to tell me when the car was coming so I wouldn’t be worried I was missing my ride as other cars drove by. In the next minute I heard my guides tell me to turn and see the next vehicle coming. It was an old, worn out black jeep, and they said, “here’s your ride.” I put my thumb out – something I’ve never done and felt a little apprehensive about so I checked in with my guides again to ensure this was a safe move and they assured me yes, so mom if you’re reading this don’t be worried! The jeep pulled over and it all felt right so I hopped in, asked if he could drive me the short distance to my bike and off we went. I made it to my bike safely and home in time to rinse off the sand and make the call with a few minutes to spare. 

What amazed me about this experience was how present, ready and wanting my Spirit guides were there to support me. Once I remembered that anxiety doesn’t get me anywhere more quickly or safely, and that I have a choice to change the channel from fear to love, I was literally taken care of in 5 minutes. The changing the channel is an essential and important peace. Most of us don’t even realize we have a choice in which frequency we’re dialed into, but we do. When we’re tuned to the dial of fear, it’s EXTREMELY difficult to receive messages or feel connected to Spirit at all. Returning to love opens the door to receive. I continued to practice this consistently on my trip and it literally blew my mind at every step or turn, I was being taken care of in some way, and often all I had to do was remember to ask. 

Living in this way is SO MUCH MORE FUN too! When I play the game, “let’s see how taken care of I am” I experience a life filled with so much flow, ease, joy, and laughter. Yes, Spirit has jokes, they like to laugh too! I notice that when I’m traveling I have more opportunity to use my intuitive senses since I don’t know my way around. I especially experience this in places where I don’t speak the native tongue, where there isn’t an option to connect through spoken words. During this trip, I noticed my connection to Spirit got even stronger and clarified.

The power of prayer is a lost art. I recall another day I was walking home from the beach in Cozumel and I was having a really hard day. I’d had a lot of deep fear activated that afternoon and I was utterly lost in it. As I slowly walked home, one of my guides, who is my father, was finally able to poke through the fear. “Hey, remember me?!” He was saying, “remember how I’m here and how you have this whole council of ancestors and guides watching out for you? Call on us.” And so I did, dropping out of the fear cycle long enough to send out a prayer. Immediately after I thought, well that’s probably not going to work. That was pretty lackluster, I wasn’t very clear and didn’t try very hard. (More fear Fear FEAR!) But guess what. Within 5 minutes I’m walking by this couple and they have this super sweet small dog – which if you’ve ever met or seen my 2 little fur babies you know I’m a sucker for small dogs 😉 and I’m drawn into the dog. I also feel the couple curious about me in the state I was in. I came in slowly to connect with the dog and the man said, “So, how’s your day going today?” I was hesitant about what to say, not feeling super comfortable to divulge much, but as conversation went on I began allowing bits about having a hard day out of me, and they met me with kindness in their listening. They continued chatting me up for a while, I could tell they were trying to to help me, as a way of showing support. Towards the end of the convo the man said, “You know it’s so weird, I never ask people how their day is going. I have no idea what made me want to say that to you.” I replied, “I do.” 🙂 

Again, the power of Spirit to show up through animals, people, cars, songs, numbers, you name it. As the outside world gets crazier and filled with greater amounts of chaos, drama, and intensity, I have found solace in Spirit. 

You can live this way too. This is not a special gift for me. All human beings are built with a knowing and as you look behind any person, you see an order of ancestors lining up behind them that are just waiting to carry them in Grace. However the Spirit realm can’t act unless we ask. These are the gifts God has granted us from love. I often hear clients talk about how they don’t feel like they have access to Spirit, they don’t know how, they’re scared, they don’t truly believe they’re worthy of God’s love. This is one of the biggest wounds across humanity. To be living in a world where God has been made into something to be fearful of, who wants to punish us if we make a mistake, who casts out judgement of right and wrong, who we have to be worthy of some unattainable metric to be loved. This is Spiritual warfare and we all most move through these fear-laden beliefs to return to the Truth. 

God is love. You are love. You come from love. This is not a dualistic Universe. We are here to remember what love is, and we often learn this by seeing and naming what it is not. 

Much love to you beloveds on your Spiritual journey. If you’d like to connect with your guides, learn more about how to walk a Spiritual path and need support in doing so, you may book a 1:1 here.

If you’d like to learn How to Channel yourself, please see the link below for my Healer’s Level 1 class where I teach you how to connect to Source and receive channeled messages and wisdom. If you’ve taken Level 1 and would like to go further and deeper in your channeling abilities, Healer’s Level 2 Advanced Channeling is next weekend March 25 & 26. In this class we will sharpen your psychic awareness and build your confidence in channeling and giving readings. Feel free to respond to this email with inquiries. 

Aho to the most high working within me and through me. May this be a vessel for thy healing.

LL

December Newsletter

Dear Beloveds,

Happy Holiday season. I awoke at 4am this morning with mental activity and this need to create and share. Sleep has been sporadic lately and I’m trying to not make it mean anything, all the while longing for a solid nights rest. I know it’s coming and I also know the best thing I can do is move with the energy presenting itself, respond in kind and loving ways, be open to change and new flows, and make an active choice to enjoy the ride 🙂 

I don’t know about you, but I got struck with the need to slow down, rest, and hibernate the last 2 weeks. Winter is setting in for me and I’m ready for lots of quiet solitude, nurturing self-care, reflection, contemplation, reading and writing — and by the fire too as my fireplace is getting fixed today! I’m so excited to have this fireplace for the winter. I’ve never had one myself but have had friends have them over the years and I have grown to absolutely love them for the cold and dreary days. There is something so comforting about cozying up next to the fire with a good book and a hot cup of tea. 

This season to me is all about nourishing the Spirit. I’ve had a lot of inner, lively, creative energy brewing inside of me that just cannot stand the mundane tasks right now. I am the type that has a lot of natural drive and ambition, so plowing through my to-do list most days feels pretty easy, but not once we hit December. I’ve been yearning for lots of spaciousness to respond to my feminine creative flow as she arises, allowing myself to go off schedule, order or deadline. I’ve been really feeling my hierarchy of needs shift from my typical Yang energy (structure, order, drive, ambition, completing tasks, serving my business) to Yin energy with strong needs for creativity, expression, spontaneity, flexibility, quiet, peace, solitude, and Being. And this makes sense as I, and we, are a part of nature, and nature is in a death process, therefore, so am I in some ways. Now is the time for us to reflect the natural world and allow for more stillness.

Life moves in cycles and phases and I notice I feel my best and do my best when I follow the natural rhythm. I learned so much of this from doing years of wombyn’s work, teaching me how to surrender, trust my natural flow, to not push or do unless the energy is there, stay diligent in naming and feeling my feelings, allowing a lot of permission for my vulnerability and the need to express it, and then of course, make time to play, catchup and laugh with those I love. 

There’s this misperception in our American culture that when we aren’t being productive that means we are lazy and aren’t accomplishing anything. That is so far from the truth. Not doing anything, being, resting, and enjoying is actually doing a lot and is required to refuel us, inspire us and take action when we need to. In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) this is called our Jing energy. Jing is the Chinese word for essence and is known as our life force energy. When we are resting, playing, in leisure and Being our Jing energy is restored and rejunivated, building our bodies energy systems and organs back up so we have natural energy to fuel our brains, body’s and normal day to day activities. In our culture, many’s Jing energy is getting heavily depleted since we don’t honor the unmet needs to restore this natural life force. 

Interestingly enough, Jing energy is stored in the kidneys and the kidneys are also known to be where we humans hold our fear. If you look at society, most are caught in survival and reacting from a state of fear response (fight, flight, faint, or flee) a lot of the time. I went through a huge upsurge in fear over the summer as I bought my home. It was a brand new process for me and it was quite overwhelming given it was the largest loan I’ve ever taken in my whole life, along with moving back in wth my partner. It was so much unknown, required change, and unforeseen events that sent me into survival, and soon enough, my kidneys started to give and so did my thyroid.

Do you pee a lot? Do some research and look into your kidney function. They may be deficient and therefore you’re not absorbing water. At this point in my life I probably pee anywhere from 20-30 times a day. 1: It’s freaking ANNOYING and 2: I finally have an answer to why I pee so much after asking this question to many doctors and healer’s for years, none of whom had an answer and just gave me “this is just something you’re going to have to live with” answers. I knew there had to be a reason though, because it hasn’t always been like this. It feels so good to know how they got so deficient — being in constant states of fear response and living in survival for the last decade and a half — and that there’s a way to restore them back to normal. By supporting my Jing. 

One thing I’ve really learned to understand and know on my Spiritual path is that when I listen to my shifting range of feelings, allow myself to flow with the energy present, and honor my needs without judgement, resistance, or guilt, my life tends to fall into a state of harmony even if my outer circumstances are challenging. I still feel in my center and feel supported from within and by Spirit. This requires me to be actively practicing trust and surrender. Trust that I’m taken care of and that also, I’m not in charge and don’t always know best. Surrender to Spirit.  

I’m wishing you a very Merry and wonderful Holiday season – however you celebrate it, recognize it or not. May it grow your Jing energy and may you allow yourself to fall into the death of winter with ease. 

As a sidenote – Clients and community, I will be leaving mid-January to lead retreats in Mexico and will be gone until mid-late February. If you try to schedule on my online calendar, you’ll notice the dates blocked off. If you’d like to see me before I leave, I suggest booking time after Christmas until Jan 10th. To book some 1:1 time with me, click HERE. In the meantime, check out my Healer’s Level 1: How to Channel class listed below that will be held late Feb. And if I don’t see you until after I return, have a Happy New Year.

Peace and Blessings to all!

In Deep Devotion to the Spirit Path,
Lisa