Posted on May 18, 2023
What my good friend Grant always says is, “life takes care of life.” I love it when he reminds me of this because it’s so true and strikes me as such a relief every time I hear it. When I slow down and look, I see that I am always being taken care of.
The past 2 weeks I’ve felt like I got hit by a truck. I’ve been sleeping a ton and still unable to get out of bed most mornings, drowning in a sea of fatigue, brain fog and exhaustion. The other day I started to get worried about it. “Oh no” the old voices go, “I’ve done it again. I’ve burnt myself out. I went too far.” All of the same questions and doubts arising….”is it my thyroid? the barometric pressure? am I getting my moon? what is wrong or what am I doing wrong to create this?”
Then, I had a healing circle scheduled on the books for this weekend and when I woke up on Friday and Saturday, I had no idea how I was going to pull it off. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t get the fatigue and brain fog to clear. As I laid down to nap yesterday afternoon before everyone arrived, I let myself completely surrender to it and prayed. Spirit, please show me how this fatigue is in service. Please make me of the greatest service, even in this fatigue. I know anything is possible through you, and that your plan is far greater than my own. Thank you.”
As the women gathered and the night went on, I saw that my very yin state had a place. I was in such a deeply soft, sweet, nurturing, allowing, receptive, flowy and loving state, it was exactly what I needed and I saw how it served the participants well. They didn’t need anything more from me, or anything else.They didn’t need me to show up any particular way, or pull tricks out of a bag. I didn’t have to perform. I saw that I could be exactly as I was, in the state I was in, and still have it contribute to the Whole. It was massive to see that my fatigue and brain fog didn’t have to be kept separate, as I’ve done for so long from so much shame. Shame that I struggle with managing my energy levels from time to time and that it’s a challenge me to not over do it. In this experience I felt that I could include all of me and that in itself actually provides the greatest service of all.
It was powerful for me to let go of what I typically have thought I needed to be and look like in order to show up, hold space, and facilitate, and trust that where I was would be the perfect contribution, and it was.
Life takes care of Life. What does that mean? It means there is an inherent, intelligent force within this Universe that we do not control that is always orchestrating everything to the smallest and highest degree to take care of us. When we live in the flow of this energy and remain connected to this knowing, we haven’t any need for worry or fear, there is a resounding trust in Life as it is at all times. And peace prevails.
Happy Spring planting little birdies and bunny rabbits.
May whatever you are birthing be fertile and abundant.
If you’d like support in trusting the Divine orchestration of your life, want time connecting with your guides, or would like someone to hold space for your unfolding, you may book a 1:1 here. And check out my workshops coming up below.
Aho to the most high working within me and through me. May this be a vessel for thy healing.