Posted on July 23, 2018
Lately I have been feeling the constraints and incongruences inside relationship. How do I take care of me without affecting you? How do I get what I want without pushing your boundaries? How do I share my truth without hurting you?
This past weekend after the New Moon in Cancer, I was deep in the throws of such inner conflict. It felt like every way I turned I would get restricted with intense feeling (which the zodiac of Cancer is known to be really good at, helping us feel our feelings!). I felt like I would get restrained either from something happening outside of myself for another, or an inner judgement of fear about what would happen if I chose something for myself.
All of my systems felt locked, it literally felt like I couldn’t move or make a decision. From this place I tried to communicate where I was – frozen in fear with no way out – but my words may have come out too harshly and in a projectile way that the other person felt attacked.
While in a triggered state, how do we share what’s happening for us in a way that others can hear and it doesn’t add more fuel to the fire?
I just returned from having lunch with a dear friend of mine, Dr. Zac Lyons. If you don’t know him, I highly recommend you check him out. He’s an OUTSTANDING body shaman and a very intuitively connected guy. To see his services and contact him, click here.
Back to lunch. We were chatting about how to handle these triggered states. Zac offered some great insights. To first and foremost, take responsibility for what you’re feeling. To stay with the feeling and not make up stories or intellectualize what you’re feeling. To lovingly take space from others if they can’t hold space for what you’re feeling. (And that’s okay, it actually helps you take care of you and them to best take care of them without added drama.)
He also reminded me of how powerful our intention can be. In life, it’s impossible to expect our actions to never have an impact on others, they’re going too, we’re all interconnected, but if our intention was to choose what was best for us, then we can trust it’s best for everyone. Regardless of how it turns out.
Sometimes the mess shows up first and the golden opportunity comes later. Remembering that we’re all learning and a work in progress.
I wish you a wonderful New Moon and eclipse season beauties! I invite you to hold and take care of those tender parts of you wishing to be felt <3