Posted on July 5, 2021
I am in a current state of aggravation and frustration as I feel the energy of unconditional love wanting to move up through me. It feels like an abrupt, forceful energy that projects up my shashumna, through my anahata, and is meeting resistance in my mental space.
I’m left with a very unsettled, scattered, terrified, anxious feeling. I want to cry and run away by how scared I feel in facing this current reality shift from fear to love. I notice that I thought I knew love. I thought I understood her neutrality, her inclusion, her everything-belong-ed-ness, but I didn’t know. Or perhaps what’s more accurate to say is that I knew the current state of my own reality of love, and now Spirit is throttling me into this next “phase” of expansion.
What I’m hearing and viscerally feeling is that love wants to expand through my body, heart and consciousness, and that it has NO ROOM for restrictions and limitations. Love is telling me that her natural design is to continue to generate more love, and to do that, more realities where love doesn’t exist, must be addressed.
This feels like a double-edged sword, because the love I knew was dictated by right and wrong. Reward and punishment. Should or shouldn’t. How aggravating, and enlightening, and humbling of an experience to see that love is just love. Love is not responding with the pain projected onto me. Love is not an eye for an eye. Love is not, “do this, then I’ll love you.” Love is not, “if you love me, you’ll do this.” Love is not, “there’s not enough to go around.” Love is not scarcity. Love is not, not enough. FUCK!!!!!
What is love if it is not all these rules of so severely limited ego consciousness that I have learned?!?! Where is the black and white? You mean love truly is all colors of the rainbow? You mean love is inclusive? You mean love is allowing people to be themselves? You mean love is not withholding? You mean love has space for all of it? Seriously, all of it??
I am rubbing up against such notions of truth in my heart and mind. My body feels activated. It feels like I’m onto something, like a new reality of truth has been presented and downloaded into my operating system. And this new reality is crumbling the rules and laws of ego love that I have learned, as have most of us. I notice I feel scared to fully step into this unconditional love, because I fear I won’t be met. I fear I’ll be alone and lonely. I fear how this will scare my beloveds and have them project their own fears of limited love onto me.
I fear to vocalize what love wants to do through me, because what if others aren’t okay with it? What if they turn their backs? What if they don’t agree? What if they don’t want me like that?
And I hear Spirit say, “that is more of what is not love.”
I feel humbled, and graced, and exhausted, and relieved, and afraid, and inspired by this new realization. Although my needs for relaxation, sleep, ease, harmony and belonging have been drastically unmet this past week due to the stress of this awakening, my needs for consciousness, learning, growth and to know evolutionary love are being met. I choose to focus on the latter.
Blessings to you beloveds. Spirit directed that I share this with you immediately this morning. The time for unconditional love’s expansion is here. We mustn’t wait a moment more to act on her behalf.
If you’d like heart-expansion coaching and spiritual mentoring in making the shift from fear-unconsciousness to love consciousness, click link to schedule HERE.
To the expansion of love,
Upcoming Classes and Trainings
*Body Love 4 Week Online Meditation Series ~ Coming Sept. Info being released in next 2 weeks.
*Healer’s Level 1: How to Channel: Oct 29, 30 & 31. Do you feel a call to be of service in some way? This workshop will guide you to discovering your unique expression as a healer and train you how to channel energy and connect to your intuitive skills. This training is an essential foundational tool for being a healer. More info HERE.
*Healer’s Level 2: Energy Healing: Dec 3, 4 & 5. Learn how to scan energy and feel blockages, and practices to bring these imbalances into alignment. You will learn about the chakra system and how to use this understanding to help yourself and others heal what is out of harmony with Love. Prereq: Must take Level 1. More info HERE.
*Mark your calendars…..Healer’s Retreat Bali August 2022!