Posted on December 30, 2019
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you!
Wow, I could share soooo much in this month’s newsletter as December has been FULL of triggers, transformation, vulnerability, and expansion. The thing I am most present to however is, Community.
This month I had the opportunity to organize a rather large community event, and it changed me. I have organized this event before, but this time, it was different. It turned out to be much larger than ones in the past, requiring me to ask for help and seek the support of a team. It was so interesting how it all came together. From the get-go it felt like this collective “team” knew we all needed each other and we were in agreement to work together before I knew we needed it. It seemed like they just “showed up” one day and there we were, just working together and making things happen.
Wow, I was blown away by this collaborative effort and how fun it was! I had never experienced anything like this before. My history of group projects or working on teams in my past was nothing like this. Before my experience in things like this is usually one or two people leading and doing all the work, and the rest slacking off and not really present. I have been in both of these roles. Playing the leadership role, but then getting resentful and burdened by all the work, and then slipping to the other side seeking revenge from all the times I had to do everything.
My limiting belief of “I have to do this all on my own” and “I can only trust myself to get this done and get this done right” got completely blown out of the water. The way this group of people showed up and put in their best effort for a greater cause helped me to see something much larger that I’ve been needing to see but haven’t had access too, and that was I can trust others to support me in business.
As many of you know, I have been a one-woman-band. A solo entrepreneur, doing everything for my business. Creating and recreating it continuously, developing myself as an intuitive healer, all the way down to scheduling and setting the space. It had been becoming more and more clear that I needed support (and I hired someone this year, more on that another time) but this recent collaborative effort opened me to new possibility. Of teamwork actually working. In Landmark there is a distinction of Workability, of all parts cohesively working together to make the Whole. I experienced workability with this group. Here is what that looked and felt like:
Throughout the creation process, it felt like things were just happening, and I was just flowing along with the tide. The team was showing up, making themselves available, and doing the work. Everyone was really chipping in and stepping up and supporting one another – I was blown away by how it all just “worked.” I hadn’t been part of a team that really worked together for the betterment of the whole, at least not for a long time, and it felt like riding waves in the ocean. The tide came in – something came up, we addressed it, took care of it – the tide went out. And on and on this process went. We were in flow and it felt like a family was being built between us.
Then, what’s even more, is that what I became present too throughout the process of preparing for this event, and the actual event itself, was the transformation of myself shifting from “I” to “We.” That this was no longer about me, and that I really didn’t even care about where I was in the group, that no longer seemed to be there or matter. What mattered more was the group being taken care of. It felt like my energy body elevated and I was no longer “down in” myself and worried about what was going on with me and all my “small” (ego) problems. I was above myself, floating from a higher plane of existence, more concerned with the Whole. This feeling that, so long as the Community was taken care of, I would be as well.
This is a new view for me and I see where I get this from. I recently read in one of Dr. Joe Dispenza’s books that children don’t really learn what there parents tell them, they learn how there parents are, and how they act. My mom will agree that on the surface, we’re not that much alike. But when I look deeper, I now see that this sense of Community building, and bonding, and holding, and managing is EXACTLY like my mother. She has been a pillar of her church and work community longer than I’ve been alive, and she just does it. She just shows up, like it’s a part of her, and it doesn’t appear to take anything from her and or even seem like she’s doing anything. She’s just being who she innately is, and out of that is the expression of supporting and loving others. She can’t not do it.
That’s how I feel and who I’ve really come to know who I am. I’m a space for others. For their everything and all of them. Offering healing, permission and allowance for them to be themselves, to have what they have, doing my best to not make anything wrong, and being willing to look at it when I do. I always have been this, it’s always been there, and all the right “things” have Divinely “happened” for me to get to this point of realization that, there is something Much Larger happening than people coming into my field and healing, we are weaving heart coherence on the planet and bringing Community together, Together. It’s a co-creative process.
So mom, I appreciate you, for being who you are. For selflessly putting others before you, teaching me the importance of bringing people together and showing up.
Spirit has been telling me that 2020 will be about Relationships for me, the magic has obviously already started. I’m more clear than ever that I came to help Build and Heal Community.
With deep love,