Posted on December 13, 2018
This month has been quite tender thus far. As the Sagittarius zodiac does, there has been a lot of big life decisions and changes ushering in, and dreams and visions from the true self coming through. The types of things that are life-changing, that bring up so much fear and grief, it’s dropped me to my knees.
You know in those moments, when all of a sudden, you are your parents? In the blink of an eye, you see yourself exactly as your mother or father, or in their situation? The things you said would never be your fate as a child, show up just-like-that as an adult? This happened to me this week. It was so surreal. I didn’t really see it coming, and yet, there was premonition all along.
On Monday morning my partner called me with severe chest pain. He’d been having it that morning and refused to stay home. When it hadn’t gone away later on he called me, his mom talked him into going to get checked out at Urgent Care. So, off we went, all to be told once we arrived that based off what he was describing, we would need to go to the Emergency Room.
Wow, really? Okay. Get back in the car, and head to the hospital.
Once at the ER, they began to draw his blood and run tests on his heart, giving him medication to help relieve the pain. Lots of waiting and talking to numerous people on his healthcare team, the day wore on. Finally his EKG results were in, there was an arrhythmia in his heart. Do the test again to check, same thing. Before we knew it he was being admitted overnight.
Shock. Again…. Wow, really??? Uh okay…….didn’t see that coming. (Plus many more emotions)
The next morning I show back up, and as I’m sitting their beside him in his hospital bed, I am at once my mother. It almost felt like her energy came into mine and my family’s whole karmic situation was in the forefront. I grew up with a very ill father. He got cancer at 21 and was in relapse/remission until he died 30 years later. As a child it was very common to go visit my dad in the hospital, watch my mom take care of him, and wonder if this time would be his last day.
As Spirit human beings, it is said that we choose our parents, our parents choose us, we choose our siblings, friends and extended family. That all of the people in our lives we created contracts with for our own soul’s growth. The people we are in relationship with are helping us to evolve into who we came here to be in this life, and I totally believe this. I no longer sad that I had a sick father and somewhat sick mother, I get that for many reasons. This was what was best for me and my evolution, and I’ve done a lot of work around learning and healing from this familial karmic pattern.
Their also comes a point though, where we have an opportunity to re-write the script and heal our lineage through the choices we make, the thoughts we think, and the energy we hold. I came to this point yesterday. It was like a movie screen playing in front of my eyes. Seeing the timeline from my great-great-great grandparents and so forth through my parents and to right now before me, with my partner and I.
What will you do, Lisa? What changes will you make right here, right now? How will you handle this? What can you do to stop this learning through sickness, pain, and suffering? Is there a way, to learn and grow through joy and love?
My High Priestess came in and said yes. As someone who believes in limitless possibilities and that you can have everything you want and need, I believe their is a way to shift out of the lower frequencies of learning through fear, shame and guilt, into the higher frequencies of harmony and love. Who says it can only be one way, just because that’s the way we’ve known it to be? I’m talking about a real paradigm shift here, from what’s known, to believing in what’s unknown. That not many are practicing, but it does exist and it all starts with me, you, us. One person at a time.
This is what evolutionary work is, what I try to live and teach and shine a light upon in my work with my clients. To show them they are so much more then there circumstances and family history. That, they first and foremost, are themselves. A bright light of energy, radiating at a frequency that can be lowered and raised, here to be and do anything they can fathom and desire. An essence, an infinite Spirit.
But we have to be willing. Willing to submerge ourselves in these tender parts of our hearts and history, and it isn’t easy, I’m not going to downplay it. These parts huuuurrrrt…….and when you go into them there is so much pain you wonder if you’ll come out alive. My human self has questioned what the hell am I doing when canvasing these places, but my Higher Self knows. Stay here. Be here. Feel it. You’ll be okay.
Through this process, I learn over and over again, that the pain passes. The more I can be with my tender, hurting parts, the less tender and painful they are. But it requires that I make space for myself and my pain. To give it a seat at the table, right along with happiness and joy, so we can all sit around and cry and talk, and eventually tell jokes about how bad that one thing used to hurt, feel proud about how that really scary thing we did, isn’t scary at all anymore.
And for those wondering about how things turned out with my partner, he’s okay. It appeared that he had a slight form of a heart attack, but his heart is otherwise, healthy and he’s out of the hospital and on the mend. He’s looking at making some lifestyle changes and ways to better manage his stress.
We’re all learning and growing. Through this event I am reminded of just how short and precious life is. To hold and make space for my tender parts, and allow my true self to shine.
If you’d like to receive an energy session to help you with your tender, soft parts, contact me to book a session. I love sharing this evolutionary, life-changing work.
With deep love,