Posted on December 4, 2022
I’ve been in the midst of a very large and new transition, I put down roots in Kansas City and bought a house.
This process was challenging from the beginning that’s had me present to being “on edge.” The experience has felt like walking the edge of a major learning curve in completely new territory. I was aware that there were a lot of lessons to be learned because nothing moved with ease or grace. It was the exact opposite. Everything had an element of difficulty.
My realtor told me on 3 different occasions that “she had never seen this before in her 18 years of being a realtor.” I bitterly smirked and chuckled, yeah, sounds like my type of life experiences. I get that a lot. My calling requires me to have a ton of experiences in many types of emotion so that I can develop expertise in human feelings. This past year has been filled with odd, strange, and never-seen-before footage. It’s been a lot of chaos and I’ve been learning to just embrace it and see it as fertilizer for the garden.
One teacher of mine says it’s part of the mass awakening we are going through on planet Earth. Empaths and awoke folks understand this is necessary for our healing and return to love. It seems like everything is being constantly stirred, and turned on its head. Nothing stays still for long and I can hear my guides telling me to loosen my grip around perfection and control.
Upon making such a large purchase, all my OCD rose to the surface as I feared “fucking it up.” I have wondered what in the hell am I doing and questioned if I’m making the “right” choice. Then I would hear, “well, it’s not certain this is the ‘right’ choice, but it’s a choice.” You said you didn’t want to live under other people’s will and control anymore and you wanted to make your own living choices, right? Well here it is. I was reminded to let go of right/wrong conditioning, and I kept hearing to just make one. To choose fully and not look back. This was a super scary initiation for me, I’ve never put down roots because I fear commitment – I always make sure I have a way out!
This strategy felt expired though so I continued to “keep going” and so in blind faith, kept at the grueling process of connecting my free-Spirited-gypsy-soul to the physical plane. What I’ve gotten from this is the awareness of how many lifetimes I’ve been a runner. I’ve ran and fled from pillaged and burning villages, battles between regions in Egypt and ancient Greece. I saw a past life of my gypsy heart nomading around South America, using my body as a resource to live….I recall times living as a secret bodhisattva in Tibet, having to pray for peace underground as dictating rulers only gave allowance for one approved religion. Remembrance of all of these lives come in waves as I tune into the topic. Spirit showing me how conditioned my nervous system is to flee out of survival.
I’ve literally been a runner in this life as well, running on sports teams and in races from middle school to my late 20’s. Dropping the activity for about 8 years as I got tired of it, and picking it back up recently. Haha, I’m seeing that this was to create balance. If I can no longer run away from my location and the issues connected to it, I’m going to give myself an outlet to run-out my issues. Different use of the same tool. The first had an intention to “run-away” from the pain, the second’s intention was a way to “run-through” it and let it “run-through” my body. Everything is symbolic and has a Spiritual purpose.
After living the last 2 decades in apt’s and giving my money to others to live, I have claimed my place on this Earth and am investing in a space that will give back to me. This feels like a really big deal. For as much as I want to be free, I also have a need for autonomy and choice. My Spirit is growing and has a need to not only home and nurture myself, but to also provide a space to nurture community growth and healing. To not just live on this Earth and take, but to be on this Earth and give.
When we are rooted, that’s when we can really grow. A redwood can only grow so tall because its roots are long and thick and deep. The more we plant down into the Earth and ourselves, the higher we can rise up to the light of consciousness and love. I must root down deep, because I am here to grow real big and support others in doing the same.
To book some 1:1 time with me, click HERE.
In Deep Devotion to the Spirit Path,
Workshops & Trainings this Year:
Healer’s Level 1: How to Channel. Sept 30 – Oct 2. Click HERE for more info.
Energy Healing Training: Oct 21 – 23. Click HERE for more info.