Posted on January 18, 2021
In the past few months, life has organized itself in a way that’s allowed my wild feminine heart to emerge.
She is radiant, powerful, expressive, bold, daring, fierce, playful, sassy, seductive, lets things be chaotic and messy, can be dramatic, is connected to the pulse of Gaia, is deeply loving, and of course – WILD.
What I’ve been learning from her is that she takes no bullshit. She sees right through the strategies and manipulation (aka toxic masculine energy, which both females and males have, that isn’t a dig at men) and says No. Thank. You. Or a sassy, “Oh, hell nooooo!” when it’s warranted. I’ve been having fun with the sass ;p
She’s been teaching me all about how to stand firm in my no and what I allow into my energy. The boundaries she’s been enforcing are FIERCE. So fierce they’ve made me break down on multiple occasions, crying into a crumbled pile of guilt and shame while I ask if it’s really okay for me to love myself this much? To the point of not being there for loved ones when they need me? To not overstep the boundaries she’s telling me keep me safe? To not defend or justify my actions to others? To choose myself, above all else??? That’s an option??!!!!!
This has been a complex request for me to understand, make space for, and honor. What does it even look like to not put other’s wants and needs before my own? What will happen when I don’t do what they want me to do? Of course I fear I will lose them. That they’ll take away their love and believe I am some witch from hell with a cold, black heart. Woof. Yeah, that description of the fear sounds accurate. These unconscious beliefs run deep my friends. Tis the result of generational oppression and trauma of all beings. Including the Earth.
And so, this is where the play comes in. I’ve been playing with this energy. What does it feel like to express myself boldly from my wild fem heart? In what ways does She want to move her hips as she walks? What little snicker or sass does She wish to share? Can She own her pointed gaze? How openly will She dare to be seen? How wide can She expand her heart? How much love can She gift, even in adversity? Will She offer her gifts at their full capacity? Or will I allow her to shrink in fear of what others may think? Will I allow the conditioning of shame to silence her deepest expression and the fear of judgement make her mess into a a problem?
Will She melt into a vulnerability hang-over for days after being so expansive, expressive, and open?
How deeply I allow myself to bear witness to these wild, chaotic, feminine parts is the degree to which I know them, embody them, and grant permission for others. I only know boldness by allowing some cockiness. I only understand fierceness by allowing some bitchiness. I only know my full expression by allowing some drama.
I have been daring myself to walk the line of these energies so I know where the line is! I’ve been allowing myself to explore her edges and play with the different expressions of her feminine body. She wishes to be known and allowed to be.
She unabashedly wants to let go, and be free.
And so, I bow to thee.
To see how I’ve been awakening my wild fem heart, check out my social media for some badass posts where I express her through fierce, sassy, and seductive dance and play!
In honor of the wild fem <3